Extreme Spitball Jenga
by DeathbyPanda92
Summary: Bad ideas and a substitute teacher are just a day in the life of Naruto Uzumaki. And the loser had to suffer. Silly little One-shot. Kind of pointless. But fun to write. I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. However, I may have just invented this version of Extreme Spitball and I ask my readers to be respectful towards their teachers.


Extreme Spitball Jenga Classroom Edition

A pale skinned girl rushed down the hallway headed toward the cafeteria with a blush across her face and her books held to her body. She wasn't running, but walking very quickly. She turned the quarter and her eyes widened as her crush came into view.

"Naruto-kun... H-h-hi." Hinata stuttered.

"Hey Hinata!" Naruto said with a big smile making Hinata's knees weak and shaky.

"I t-took an extra s-s-set of notes in m-math f-for you. We also h-have a s-subs-stitute." She said handing a pair of immaculately written notes.

"Thanks Hinata, your the best!" Naruto said giving her a hug and rushed off to the cafeteria placing the notes in his notebook.

Naruto, had been waiting for a substitute teacher to come. It was October and flu season. It was only a matter of time for a teacher to tap out and it happened to be mathematics. Senior year was a time to live large and he had devised this game of his all summer and now, to enlist the players.

Naruto plopped down at the table with a mischievous glint in his eyes staring at his contestants.

"What bad idea has your impeccably miniature brain devised to have our graduation privileges revoked this time?" Neji said eloquently.

Naruto looked between Neji, Gaara, Kiba and Sasuke who was blatantly ignoring him.

"Who wants to play a game?"

"I'm in." Kiba said wagging his eyebrows.

Naruto could always count on Kiba. Now to get the other three.

"We have a substitute in Math class today." Cue Neji rolling his eyes and Sasuke turning his head ever so slightly to indicate he was listening.

"Extreme spitball Jenga." Naruto said quietly with a malicious grin.

"No." Sasuke and Neji said in unison.

"Don't be girls about it. Anyways. We each take shots at the teacher. Back is 5 points, butt is 10 and neck up is 15. If the teacher is facing towards us the face is 30, chest is 10 and groin is 20. Money shots would be worth 50. Those would be any incredibly impressive shot as deemed by our score keeper. Winner will be determined by points. However, the loser is determined by whoever messes up and ends the game or fails to take their turn by the end of class."

"So don't be next to shoot when the bell rings and don't get caught?" Kiba clarified excited.

"Yep. The other catch is, whoever placed ahead of you, you have to do whatever they say. Only the person who came in first gets out of doing any favors."

"Alright, this sounds legit fun." Kiba said nodding.

"I'm in." Gaara said with a bored shrug.

Sasuke shrugged agreeing to play with a light smirk tugging at his lips.

"C'mon Neji. Don't be a little chicken. You'd be admitting defeat to me before even beginning if you don't participate." Naruto said grinning confidently.

"As if." Neji said taking a sip from his water bottle.

"It's fine. I can see how it would be difficult to compete against this. It's quite intimidating. You can just watch free of getting crushed by the amazing Naruto Uzumaki-" Naruto got cut off.

"Shut up you twit. I'll do it and mop your face with the floor when I'm done." Neji said darkly.

"My loser has to drink an entire water bottle from the toilet in the boys locker room bathroom." Kiba said grinning.

"My loser has to be my slave for a week." Gaara said confidently.

"I won't be sharing mine. It might scare Neji off." Sasuke said amused.

"Anyone who I beat, including their losers will not be allowed to talk to me for the remainder of this month for any reason whatsoever." Neji said annoyed.

Naruto nodded his head slowly.

"My loser has to set up cameras in the girls showers." Naruto said with a smile.

The other four looked at him wide eyed. That would be definite expulsion should they get caught.

"Wait- I think there should be an ultimate punishment for the person who loses or ends the game." Kiba announced looking a little devious.

"Fine, the other four victors come up with something together." Naruto said shrugging.

Everyone seemed pleased with their answers and the terms of the game.

The bell rang and the guys threw their trash away grabbing a few straws on the way out headed towards their last class of the day. Naruto and Kiba taking the most confident strides. Gaara followed behind shaking his head while Sasuke and Neji walked behind them taking their seats last.

Sasuke took his assigned seat closest to the door in the front row, Naruto was two rows over front and center, Gaara was dead center of the classroom, Kiba was in the front row two rows from Naruto and Neji was Three rows over from Kiba in the corner by the window in the front row. Even throw Gaara had to deal with a little more distance, he undeniably had the best place to shoot from. Lots of cover.

The classroom was wide and the rows were only 4 chairs back. So Gaara wasn't that much further back.

Now, for the victim to begin speaking.

"My name is Mr. Kabuto. I will be your substitute for the day. Your teacher has a minor flu and will be back Monday. So, for now we will start by taking roll and making sure all of you are in your assigned seats." Mr. Kabooty asked. Yep. He was just renamed by his adorable students.

After ten grueling minutes of roll call. Passing the homework forward and checking them off. He passed out a pop quiz for the unit they were wrapping up and then made the announcement that would commence their game.

"Time to take notes. You have 20 minutes till the end of class so you'd better write these down quickly." Mr. Kabooty instructed and turned around to start writing the notes.

Naruto passes a score sheet he had made to Ino who cracked a smile and she nodded.

The blonde made eye contact with Gaara, then Kiba indicating who would go after him and then so on and so forth.

Naruto took a small bit of paper and put it in his mouth getting it wet and tight and pushed the spitball into the straw and took a deep breath shooting and hitting the teachers back.

5 points.

Gaara already had his ready and with a bigger breath landed on the substitutes pony tail.

5 points. Did t go higher than the neck.

Kiba quickly took his shot landing square on the teachers butt and he dropped his straw into his hoodie and went back to copying notes.

10 points.

Neji prepped his spit ball and took his shot hitting the teachers rib age and accepted the 5 points.

Sasuke lined up his shot and got the top of the pony tail getting 15 points.

Naruto scrunched his face up at Sasuke and he took another shot getting the teacher in the butt and smirked. It landed right on the seam.

Ino was smirking keeping track of the points as the 5 of them slowly covered the teachers back, butt, legs that didn't count and needed to take another shot and hair.

Eventually the standings were Neji in first with 120 points, Sasuke with 115, Gaara and Naruto were tied up at 105 and Kiba was bringing up the rear with 85 points.

It was down to the last 5 minutes of class and the teachers back side was almost all white and he had no idea. Naruto could hardly contain himself.

Kiba, nervously loaded the spitball taking his time. He didn't want it to come around again so as soon as the class had 4 minutes to spare he took his spot hitting the teachers skin on the back of the neck and he shoved the straw up his sleeve and kept writing inconspicuously.

The teacher wiped his neck and removed the spitball.

"Very funny. Whoever did this must think they are hilarious. Please, refrain from acting like a child in my presence." And with that Mr. Kabooty turned back around very angry.

Kiba was now at an even 100 points.

Neji got his shot ready and took his shot just as their teachers head turned ever so slightly and the spit ball hit him on the cheek. Neji very discreetly hid the straw as the teacher whipped around pissed off.

"Who did it?!" The teacher roared looking at the right side of the class and then sharply over to the left.

Naruto looked like a deer in headlights since he was very close to where the teacher was standing during this screech fest.

"Fine. I will hold each and everyone of you behind and phone in security and we will see who the culprit is now won't we?!" The teacher stood firmly in front of the class glaring menacingly.

Sasuke slid his phone out cursing the fact he had to go next of face drinking toilet water from the boys locker room bathroom and whatever else these idiots could come up with. He texted in the favor along with an incentive and slid his phone back in his pocket getting his next spitball ready.

In the center of the room behind Ino, who was thoroughly amused seeing if Sasuke would go, sat a pink haired young woman with bubblegum pink hair. She pulled her phone out from her bra and popped the gum in her mouth as she read a text from none other than Sasuke Uchiha. She glanced over to the side of the room where he was sitting and gave a nod. She pulled her hair up into a pony tail and waited for the opportune moment.

She and Ino had plans after school to check out some new stores in the mall which was why she was dressed up more than usual. She very carefully slid her pencil towards the edge of the table.

There was now only 1 minute left in class and Sasuke brushed his hair back and had he straw ready. Sakura took this as her sign. She dropped the pencil and stood up bending over in a mini skirt giving her teacher the perverts view of a lifetime.

Sasuke took his shot and jammed the straw into his pocket bending it knowing damn well it wouldn't be his turn ever again and the spitball landed right... into... Mr. Kabuto's agape mouth.

Ino gave Sasuke the 50 points. That was a money shot.

Naruto looked on in horror. His teacher looked queasy and disgusted. And started to walk to the door and bolted out.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-" Naruto said dropping his head into his arms as the bell rang.

Looks like the biggest mouth... Didn't win. Dead last.

"Come on Dobe. We all need to confer." Sasuke said packing up his notes and exiting the classroom.

Ino followed as did Sakura and everyone filed outside around a tree in front of the school.

Sasuke handed Neji a paper.

"What's this?"

"Loser had to do whatever the winner says. This is what you have to do." Sasuke said with a shrug.

Neji opened the folded paper and revolved it after reading the contents.

"As is such, I am allowed to make my loser, which is Gaara do as I wish. I wish to pass what I have to do to Gaara." Neji said abandoning his previous plan for silence.

Gaara opened the paper and his eyes widened and with a shake of the head he passed it to Kiba.

Kiba read it. "Heck no! Noooo wayyyyy! Sasuke is a sadist! Screw the drinking toilet water. All you Uzumaki!" Kiba screeched handing Naruto the paper as if it was burning him.

"Naruto read it and his face dropped.

"You've got to be joking Teme."

"Nope."

Sasuke smirked as he watched the light that is Naruto Uzumaki, fade into nothingness.

"You can own it bro. I have faith in you!" Kiba said grinning.

"Now I believe we collectively get to come up with an ultimate punishment for Naruto?"

"I say we add insult to injury. He's got to give all of us that treatment for that day." Kiba grinned

"Heck no! That's a violation of my basic human rights. That's cruel and unusual punishment!" Naruto screeched.

"Done." The other three agreed unanimously.

"I hate you all. You suck!" Naruto said walking off. "Cheating bastardly ways that I can't even call him out on cause it wasn't against the rules..." Naruto mumbled.

October 31st.

Naruto woke up to an unpleasant pounding on his bedroom door before it was opened forcefully.

"Wake up Naruto! Time to start." Sakura said overly happy at 3 am.

"F ck." Naruto mumbled into the pillow before he was dragged in the general direction of the shower which she shoved him inside with his boxers still on.

Sakura shampooed and conditioned his hair and pulled hi out and sat him on the toilet seat before spraying something that ever so slightly burned all over his legs.

"What is this?" Naruto whined.

"Hair removal spray."

"Mkay..." Naruto readjusted himself. "...wait. WHAT?!"

Naruto screeched as she began wiping the hair off with a towel. As if it were never there to begin with. Naruto looked on in sheer horror as his masculinity was wiped off. She did his armpits next.

"I hate you Sasuke Uchiha." Naruto growled out as Sakura fitted a wig and attached it to Naruto's real hair ensuring it would stay on all day long.

Naruto put the rest of the ensemble on and Sakura did his make-up covering all his scars and blemishes carefully.

Sakura dressed in a little Angel outfit, to go along with Ino's devil outfit. Naruto glared as he toppled over and scrambled to get his backpack and stuff ready. He was already hating his life immensely.

He walked to school as best as he could alongside Sakura who walked with ease up to the front of the school. There was Sasuke, Neji, Gaara and Kiba all looking immensely entertained as Naruto used the railing to hike up the stairs.

"I hate all of you." Naruto glared.

Sasuke stood back and admired his masterpiece that looked amazing on Naruto, even though this torture was originally intended for Neji.

Naruto was in a frilly French maid outfit, with black stockings, heels, an apron, wig and bonnet. He strongly resembled a girl at the moment. One who hadn't quite gotten her heels broken in.

Sasuke handed his backpack to Naruto who took it with a forced smile.

"You look very pretty Naru-chan." Sasuke said smiling.

"Bite me." Naruto said with one of his own.

The other three handed their backpacks to Naruto who was going to topple over under the weight and poor balance as they headed to first period. Roaring laughter filled the hallways as everyone got a glimpse of the one and only Naruto Uzumaki fulfilling his punishment for losing.

By the end of the day, and having to tote and carry all their backpacks and books and stand in the ca feria line to get their lunches and bring them to them Naruto crawled out after sixth period looking a lot like the girls who get drunk at nightclubs. Just no crying. Although he really wanted too. Really. Really badly.

Sasuke watched Naruto crawl across the parking lot closing his eyes when wind blew up the back of his dress revealing short under armor underwear.

"Naruto. Get up."

"No, these torture devices on my feet have broken them. I hope your happy."

"No. I'm not. This torture was intended for Neji who weaseled out of it. If I planned something for you it would've been to make you read the entire works of Shakespeare and you cannot ask me to explain any of it."

"You really are a sadist Teme." Naruto said sitting down.

"I'll drive you home." Sasuke said smirking."

"No bdsm bull or romantic love professions or I'll bit your face." Naruto said crawling to the passenger door.

"Naruto, if I were to date you, I would have to first fix your thought process and increase your iq." Sasuke said sitting in the car as Naruto shut his door.

"Are you saying you'd date me if I was smarter?" Naruto said looking confused.

"And quieter." Sasuke said patting Naruto's legs and driving off with a quiet and confused blonde in his passenger seat.

Review? Feedback? One-shot that happened to renew my motivation for Gay &amp; Away. Hope you liked.


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